Rain

It’s raining again today. It’s been raining this week. It’s been raining for some weeks. But that’s just what everyone else sees (or that they’ve just now noticed). It’s been raining in my heart for almost 3 full years to date. I’d managed to sandbag and pump my way around the on and off again flooding for some time, but there are periods of heavy deluge that bring right me back to those moments so many years ago. Well, unfortunately, this is one of them now.

Almost 3 years ago to this date, my heart was murdered, stabbed mercilessly and repeatedly, and I was left to die by the person I’d most trusted. The person I’d put all my hopes and dreams on. The person I’d loved the most in this life. I was simply abandoned with no explanation. I survived the brutal assassination, but now I’m just a shadow of my former self. And so the rain continues. The cold, wet, blood red rain that had started almost 3 years ago. It was once warm, but now it’s feeling just like the ambient outside temperature. I’m cold. I’m alone. I’m forgotten. But the irony of this all?

I actually still love her.